A moment recalled, a blog reposted... and more

Seventeen months ago, my friends and family thought I was losing my mind. In fact, there was a brief moment when I thought of the same thing. Imagine giving up a comfortable life in the city just to be sent to a remote, unknown area in the Philippines?

How I felt that time can never be described more perfectly, or should I say more accurately, than what I wrote in October 2006 in this very same blog. Here's a repost.

Craziest Thing Ever

In two days I am going on a pre-deployment seminar with the Department of Health's Doctors to the Barrios Program. I just realized this morning that this has got to be the craziest thing that I ever did in my lifetime and I am scared.

On a personal level, I am scared that I get deployed in a really remote area without even a mobile signal and I won't be able to text my family and friends. I am not afraid of the distance, I am more afraid of being isolated or not being able to talk to anybody when I do get lonely.

Professionally, I fear that I may not know enough to serve a municipality with about 15-20 barangays. I took the boards just two months ago! I am beginning to doubt my skills. Will I be able to deliver a baby without the benefit of anesthesia or even an IV line? Can I insert a CTT, alone, when I am faced with a stabbed patient? What will I do without x-ray or urinalysis?

I also fear that I might stagnate, intellectually that is. By the time I finish this job, most of my friends will be senior residents in their chosen fields. They already have honed their skills and gained a lot of knowledge. I, on the other hand, will only be starting.

I am praying and hoping that I never get too lonely or end up stupid in this job. As one of my friends said, only I can prevent that from happening. I just have to remember that and say in the end that this is not as crazy as I thought it is.

I would like to think that no other moment in my life, crossroad at that, can top this. It was a leap of faith, a sudden turn into an unknown road, a momentary loss of sanity. But it was, and still is, the best 17 months of my life. Why?

I thought serving thousands of our countrymen is more than enough. But I didn’t realize that I would find more treasures in this road as I go along the way – got published, twice, met my one true love, traveled to numerous places, met a lot of people and made friends with most of them, and FINALLY, I knew what field to specialize in. THAT for me, is priceless.

If I come through this crossroad again, I’d still choose this same road. After all, I can always take the other roads some other time. Like what I will be doing in 6 months’ time.