Sunday, March 30, 2008

A moment recalled, a blog reposted... and more

Seventeen months ago, my friends and family thought I was losing my mind. In fact, there was a brief moment when I thought of the same thing. Imagine giving up a comfortable life in the city just to be sent to a remote, unknown area in the Philippines?

How I felt that time can never be described more perfectly, or should I say more accurately, than what I wrote in October 2006 in this very same blog. Here's a repost.

Craziest Thing Ever

In two days I am going on a pre-deployment seminar with the Department of Health's Doctors to the Barrios Program. I just realized this morning that this has got to be the craziest thing that I ever did in my lifetime and I am scared.

On a personal level, I am scared that I get deployed in a really remote area without even a mobile signal and I won't be able to text my family and friends. I am not afraid of the distance, I am more afraid of being isolated or not being able to talk to anybody when I do get lonely.

Professionally, I fear that I may not know enough to serve a municipality with about 15-20 barangays. I took the boards just two months ago! I am beginning to doubt my skills. Will I be able to deliver a baby without the benefit of anesthesia or even an IV line? Can I insert a CTT, alone, when I am faced with a stabbed patient? What will I do without x-ray or urinalysis?

I also fear that I might stagnate, intellectually that is. By the time I finish this job, most of my friends will be senior residents in their chosen fields. They already have honed their skills and gained a lot of knowledge. I, on the other hand, will only be starting.

I am praying and hoping that I never get too lonely or end up stupid in this job. As one of my friends said, only I can prevent that from happening. I just have to remember that and say in the end that this is not as crazy as I thought it is.

I would like to think that no other moment in my life, crossroad at that, can top this. It was a leap of faith, a sudden turn into an unknown road, a momentary loss of sanity. But it was, and still is, the best 17 months of my life. Why?

I thought serving thousands of our countrymen is more than enough. But I didn’t realize that I would find more treasures in this road as I go along the way – got published, twice, met my one true love, traveled to numerous places, met a lot of people and made friends with most of them, and FINALLY, I knew what field to specialize in. THAT for me, is priceless.

If I come through this crossroad again, I’d still choose this same road. After all, I can always take the other roads some other time. Like what I will be doing in 6 months’ time.

11 comments:

Bone MD said...

"Sanity, is the least of our considerations we make whenever we take bold steps in our lives"

That "insanity" you took (by being an MD in the barrios) made a remarkable difference in the lives of "sane" people you serve.

dr_clairebear said...

hi, merry cherry! TBR 3 is up. Thanks so much for participating!

dr tes said...

if i've known that this program was still active after i passed the boards (2003)i would have jump into this insanity. ever since the seed of being a doctor sprouted on me, i never pictured myself as an ophthalmologist, it was always a picture of a barrio doc as inspired by the doc juan flavier. so, by reading your post, im living my this-could-have-been-me experience. pls join the 4th TBR, im hosting.

MerryCherry said...

Bone MD, thanks. Totally agree.

Doc Claire... anytime. Love it the host post:)

Doc Tess, will do. :)

Abner M. Hornedo, M.D. said...

people like you are very special! the path you've chosen is less travelled and i admire people who are like that.

what is important is you are happy.

sana dumami pa ang katulad mo.

GOD bless you!

cheers!

thanks for linking my site to yours...

MerryCherry said...

You are welcome Doc Abner and thanks too :)

Martin D. Bautista, M.D. said...

Maraming salamat for dropping by MC. I remember you very well. Hope to see you when I am back home. Ingat.

MerryCherry, MD said...

Doc Martin, thanks for dropping by too :)

Joey said...

Lots of people make "crazy choices" in their lives. Yours is one of the best "crazy choices" since you were able to really serve the people who really need doctors the most. :) Galing!

Thanks for visiting and linking up my blog. I'm linking you up too :)

megamomph said...

Thanks for a very inspiring post. I hope more young aspiring MDs get to read this. I am glad you are now at peace with your choice. ;)
Continue to hang in there!

MerryCherry, MD said...

Thanks MegaMom and Doc Joey. :)