The Doctor is Sick

I have never been really sick ever since I went to medical school. Except for a few times I had trangkaso, not-so-often asthma exacerbations (which I have learned to manage well) and that minor surgery I had during internship, I could say I am pretty healthy.

Now, I think, I am sick again! I have tinnitus -- that ringing in the ear, like there is a sound playing in your head, and only you can hear it! It’s pulsatile at that, on my left ear. Texted/ called/stalked my 3 friends who are ORLs (otorhinolaryngologists) or ENTs (ear nose and throat specialist), and spent the whole holiday searching for literature online, which left me worrying more!

As my friend jokingly said, I forgot to do only one thing -- see a specialist in person and have my ears looked into!

Sometime, I wish I knew less than I do now because every time I read tinnitus being associated with vascular anomalies, atherosclerosis, tumors, etc., I become nauseous! Seriously! Despite my doctor-friends saying 'it's nothing', whenever I think about what I know, what we studied in medical school, the worst case scenario, I don't feel like it's nothing!

Last night, the pulsatile tinnitus turned into a real buzz, like there’s a mosquito in my left ear. In panic mode, I called up my friend M, a 2nd yr ENT resident. He said that for the meantime, I use an IPod to mask the tinnitus. I didn’t know if I would laugh or take him seriously!

I watched DVD instead. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.