Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Idle Hands, Idle Mind

They say that an idle mind is the devil's workshop. Could be. But really, when you have so much free time in you hands, you just tend to think about anything and everything under the sun.

I was having my community medicine in the past month. For a medical intern like me, that would mean 30 days of no duties, no sleepless nights and no toxicity in my schedule. I wake up at about 7am, see several patients from 8am to about 4pm then i get to go home or I study at Starbucks, watch movie or hang out with friends. The best part is, I get to sleep in my bed every night (trust me, when you are deprived of sleeping in your bed once in a while, you will miss it). But having an schedule as stress-free as this can be really boring.

For one thing, I'm having a hard time sleeping at night. My body was so used to hectic schedules and sleep deprivation that when I get all the time in the world to sleep, I can't sleep. Which leaves me to thinking about anything and everything. Sometimes, I think too much that my head hurts when I wake up in the morning.

It was in one of these nights, in my bed, that I thought of every aspect of my life -- questions that has been plaguing me since time immemorial and it is only now that I got to think of them thoroughly. Like, why am I still single? Will I ever marry? Will I have a better life if I migrate to Australia? Is Friends still on Star World? Will I ever see The Notebook on HBO again? Will I meet my future husband tomorrow? Or the next day? Am I such a loser lying in my bed thinking about all these?

Will all these thoughts in my head, I wonder, why haven't I killed myself yet? Kidding. I am not suicidal, really.

It is only now that I truly understand why an idle mind is the devil's workshop. I gotta find something to occupy myself. But then again, in a month's time, I'll be back in the hospital. The devil wouldn't even have a chance by that time.

No comments: