Craziest thing ever

In two days I am going on a predeployment seminar on the Department of Health's Doctors to the Barrios Program. I just realized this morning that this has got to be the craziest thing that I ever did in my lifetime and I am scared.

On a personal level, I am scared that I get deployed in a far away land without even a mobile signal and I won't be able to text my family and friends. I am not afraid of the far away land, I am more afraid of being lonely or not being able to talk to anybody when I get lonely.

Professionally, I am afraid that I may not know enough to serve a municipality with about 15-20 barangays. I am beginning to doubt my skills. Will I be able to deliver a baby without the benefit of anesthesia or even an IV line? Can I insert a CTT when I am faced with a stabbed patient? What will I do without x-ray or urinalysis?

I also fear that I might stagnate, intellectually that is. By the time I finish this job, most of my friends will be senior residents in their chosen fields. They already have honed their skills and gained a lot of knowledge. I, on the other hand, will only be starting.

I am praying and hoping that I never get too lonely or end up stupid in this job. As one of my friends said, only I can prevent that from happening. I just have to remember that and say in the end that this is not as crazy as I thought it is. Read more!